Shari Fish - Issue 3
Shari's WellNews - Sharring Insights, Fostering Growth Sharri Fish
In This Issue
Shari's WellNotes: Is it Love or is it Chocolate?!
Shari Recommends: Chocolate Bark with ...
Stay Tuned: College prep seminar coming soon!!
Teen Talk: Make it YOUR Valentine's Day
My Search for Balance: A Client's Wellness Journey
About Shari: A Look Inside
  Connect to Shari via Facebook and LinkedIn

ISSN 1234-5678
February, 2009
Published every...

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College Corner

Chocolate and Love

When I think of February, I think of love. Okay, not really - I think of chocolate. But cheesy or not, Valentines Day is the highlight of February for me. Sure, theres Presidents Day, Super Bowl Sunday and Mardi Gras (Im not really a fan of fake cheese stadium nachos or kings cake), but none can compare to the joy of love and chocolate.

So what do love and chocolate have in common?!

Chocolate:

  • Contains Phenyethylamine - an amphetamine-like substance said to simulate the feeling of falling in love (Happy Valentines Day!!)
  • Causes the brain to release B-endorphin a naturally occurring chemical similar to opium, which dulls pain and increases your sense of well-being (perhaps, opening your heart to love!)
  • Increases levels of serotonin (one of loves most important chemicals that keeps your love popping into your thoughts)

Do we love chocolate because it reminds us of Love, or do we love Love because it reminds us of chocolate?

No, I have not forgotten that I am indeed a wellness coach. As such I am compelled to point out the healthiest ways to enjoy this amazing delicacy:

  • IN MODERATION
  • The darker the better (less sugar more antioxidants!)
  • Cover your fruit and nuts in dark chocolate
  • Drink skim chocolate milk (great recovery drink after a workout)
  • Hot cocoa
  • Top your favorite yogurt with a handful of dark chocolate chips
  • Or my favorite way: eat it straight! Nothing is going to temper the taste or experience of my favorite indulgence!

Shari's WellNotes

Chocolate Bark with Pistachios and Dried Cranberries and/or Cherries

¾ cup roasted, shelled pistachios, coarsely chopped
¾ cup dried cherries or cranberries
1 teaspoon freshly grated orange zest
24 ounces bittersweet chocolate chips ( I like Ghirardelli)

1. Line the bottom and sides of a jelly-roll pan with foil, avoiding wrinkles. Toss pistachios with cherries and/or cranberries in a medium bowl. Divide the mixture in half; stir orange zest into one portion.

2. Melt 18 ounces of chocolate in a double boiler over hot water. Stir often with a rubber spatula.

3. Remove the top pan and slowly stir in the remaining chocolate, until smooth and thoroughly melted.

4. Add the pistachio mixture containing the orange zest to the chocolate; stir to mix well. With a rubber spatula, quickly and evenly spread the chocolate (1/4 inch thick) onto the prepared pan. Sprinkle the remaining pistachio mixture on top and, using your fingers, gently press it into the chocolate.

5. Refrigerate, uncovered until set, approximately 20 minutes

6. Invert the pan onto a large cutting board and remove foil from bark. Using the tip of a sharp knife, score the chocolate lengthwise with 6 parallel lines. Break bark along the score lines and break each strip into 2-3 inch chunks.

Nutrition, per piece: 79 Calories
5 g Fat
2g Sat.
0 g Mono
0 mg Cholesterol
11g. Carbohydrates
1 g. Protein
2 g Fiber
26 mg Potassium

Store in airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.


After giving your daughter every opportunity for success these past 18 years, dont send her off to college unprepared for her new independent life.

Stay tuned for more information on our amazing one-day college prep seminar for recent high school graduates! It will focus on every topic relevant to college freshman including, but not limited to:

  • Time management
  • Financial management
  • Dating
  • Stress management
  • Anxiety
  • Healthy eating and dorm snacks
  • Exercise
  • Drinking
  • Roommates
  • Sleep
  • Self-esteem
  • And soooo much more!

Client Chatter

Make it YOUR Valentine's Day

As a teenage girl, I often experienced Valentines Day as a day of disappointment. The day left me with the thoughts of he didnt... or I wish and the relentless barrage of TV commercials left me believing that I was the only one left out. The truth is, though, that I wasnt the only one left out and I had some control over the situation: In order to ensure a happy Valentines Day, I shouldnt have left my happiness up to others. My happiness was in my hands.

Happiness studies conclude repeatedly that each of us has tremendous control over our personal happiness. It is not what happens or doesnt happen that determines our joy as much as how we interpret and respond to it.

Your Rx for a Happy Valentines Day:

  1. Write down five things that you love aboutYOU!!
  2. Take someone special out for coffee or yogurt
  3. Send messages of love and gratitude to friends, family, and others
  4. Take Valentines Day cards, cookies or treats to a homeless shelter

Client Chatter

A Client's Wellness Journey - Part 3

Week #3

Well, folks, as I feared, week three of my wellness journey was not as successful as was week two.  Anyway, last week, if you recall, I decided to sign up for the Texas Bar Exam. That was Wednesday. On Friday, though, my stepmom called to tell me that she and my brother would be moving to our house on Marthas Vineyard for the remainder of the school year because it was the best place for him to finish high school. So while my parents were gearing up for a temporary bicoastal marriage and my brother was saying goodbye to all of his friends, I was having a meltdown. What is going on here?! Everything seemed to be falling apart and I started questioning: Should I consider taking the Massachusetts Bar instead? Can I really even pass Texas? How can I do this without them? Why, at twenty-seven years old, do I still need them this much? What does that say about me? Why am I not stronger? When will I be my old self again? Add to all of that the fact that my apartment lease was about to expire and I had to decide what I was going to do. I just felt so lost and like I had little control over my own life.

After a couple of days of soul searching, though, I weighed the pros and cons of the respective Bar Exams once more and decided that I had initially made the right choice: Texas it is! Then my dad asked me to move into the apartment over the garage at my parents house. He said it would help me save money and help him feel less lonely while my brother and stepmom were across the country, and since it was a separate building, it wouldnt be like living in my old bedroom or something. It was a win-win solution.

So, all in all, a heck of a lot happened this week. None of which I saw coming, and most of which I didnt handle with much grace and discipline.

All that being said, I got through it. I survived and here I am, about to go meet with Shari for our weekly meeting. Everything that feels crappy now will get wiped clean in a couple of hours when Shari redirects my focus to the positives and encourages me to start fresh this week. I can do that.

Week #4

To say that this was a big week for me would be a gross understatement. I mean, nothing monumental happened, but things changed. I won some battles and lost some, too, but I really started to feel an actual shift in my life take place. More specifically, though, three significant things happened this week

1. Mothers and Daughters. When I started this journey with Shari a few weeks ago I listed maintaining permeable boundaries with my mother as one of my year-out goals. The funny this is, my whole life Ive feared that if I said no to my mother, if I wasnt there for her in the exact way she wanted me to be, that I was a bad daughter. That somehow it meant I was cold and cruel. The best lesson I learned is that Shari was right I can have boundaries in place and still be close to my mother. I can permeate the boundaries when the situation calls for it without losing what is important to me. My mom and I truly connected this week and it felt good.

2. Food as Love. One of the main reasons I felt ready to take on this search for balance and wellness in my life was because I felt like I had finally gotten over my ex-boyfriend. After seven months of pining and crying, I woke up one day and was ready to move onward and upward. And then out of the blue, he called me. Just to say hi and catch up, he said. He told me about his new job and volunteer work, and that, now, he may want kids some day the crux of our problems when we were a couple.  In short, he has matured. Hes become the man I always knew he was capable of being. And as proud of him as I am, Im pissed off that he called. What good does it do me to know that my actual perfect man exists if I cant have him? Whats more, after we hung up I started feeling empty. I was still full from dinner, but I genuinely felt empty inside. Intellectually I knew it was just heartache masking itself as a sugar craving. I knew that my stomach was full and that only my heart felt empty, and that no amount of ice cream would bring him back. But I wanted something to make me feel good. So I ate. I didnt eat a lot and I didnt eat crappy food. But the point is that I ate when I wasnt hungry to fill a void that food can never fill. The worst part is, I didnt feel better. I felt like crap. I felt powerless to resist this bizarre compulsion. And even as I sit here writing about it, I dont understand it. Its like something takes over my mind and I get tunnel vision that leads me directly to the closest edible item. In those moments I dont feel like a capable woman, an A student, or a lawyer. I feel subject to the overwhelming need I have to not feel whatever negative emotion it is that Im currently feeling. Sad, angry, uncomfortable, scared, depressed. All the biggies. But the victory in all of this is that I can identify more of the specifics that surround these compulsions. I just have so much to learn about how to control them and how to, ultimately, rid myself of them. Thankfully, I have Shari and I dont have to do that alone.

3. Bar Exams and Barbells. So the first two things that happened this week were a bit emotionally draining. The third thing I have to report, though, is nothing short of awesome! Shock of all shocks, I discovered that Im pretty good at working out and I actually like to do it! Over the past few weeks I have gotten stronger and my endurance is at a new high. When I started working out with my best friend, the marathon runner, I thought I would be dead weight and that she would have to really push me. But Im actually the one who wants to do more, push harder, and try new things. Its a strange feeling, but Im proud of myself for not needing someone to force me to work out. Similarly, I started studying for the Bar Exam this week. Ill be honest with you - I was afraid to start studying. I have a crappy track record with this Exam and the last time I tried to study for it I had a complete emotional meltdown and went a little batty for a few weeks. But this time is so different. Maybe its the test format or maybe its just my attitude, but I actually find myself looking forward to my study sessions. And for the first time in years, I am becoming engrossed in my work, so much so that I dont realize that Ive done double the studying I set out to do. Feeling engaged in studying makes me feel like the old me again. I feel smart and purposeful when I study. I am setting myself up for success. And I cant remember the last time I was able to say that.

 As Im sure most of my weeks will be, this one was filled with highs and lows, wins and losses. But I think the important thing is that I ended this week feeling stronger than I did when it began. I feel happier, more confident, more capable. I feel my life changing. No. Correction: I am changing my life. Every day. Every decision. Im doing it. One step at a time.


My Search For Balance

While earning her Masters degree in Educational Psychology/Counseling, Shari was taught that in order to understand clients issues," you must first closely examine their maladaptive behaviors and/or past missteps. However, being a pragmatic and optimistic person, she was searching for a more efficient, effective and positive means to help her clients create healthier, richer and more balanced lives. Thus began her personal and professional journey into wellness coaching. Based on the principles of Positive Psychology, Shari helps clients to clarify their values and motivators, and to celebrate their personal strengths and past successes. It is from this perspective, that clients are able to achieve the lasting change they desire and to create a more balanced life.

It is Shari's desire that each of her clients experience increased life satisfaction, self-efficacy and truly become his/her best self."


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